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	<title>retstak.org</title>
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	<link>http://retstak.org</link>
	<description>the world&#039;s on fire</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 17 Mar 2010 23:37:31 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Caption Contest!</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2010/03/17/caption-contest/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2010/03/17/caption-contest/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Mar 2010 23:37:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/?p=705</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I caught this picture of my cat Ebony on accident, but figured it&#8217;d make a great caption contest pic.
 
You all have the floor.
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I caught this picture of my cat Ebony on accident, but figured it&#8217;d make a great caption contest pic.<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/katster/4442066422/" class="tt-flickr tt-flickr-Medium" title="Tongue!"><img class="alignnone" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2695/4442066422_310f22f9db.jpg" alt="Tongue!" width="500" height="375" /></a> </p>
<p>You all have the floor.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>what a way to come back</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2010/03/02/what-a-way-to-come-back/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2010/03/02/what-a-way-to-come-back/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Mar 2010 08:53:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/2010/03/02/what-a-way-to-come-back/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I swear, if I find the entity in charge of running the universe, I&#8217;m going to give the asshole a piece of my mind.  I&#8217;m absolutely frickin&#8217; tired of him/her/it pissing on me and mine.
Short of it, Mom&#8217;s in the hospital on top of everything else that this year has dumped on me so [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I swear, if I find the entity in charge of running the universe, I&#8217;m going to give the asshole a piece of my mind.  I&#8217;m absolutely frickin&#8217; tired of him/her/it pissing on me and mine.</p>
<p>Short of it, Mom&#8217;s in the hospital on top of everything else that this year has dumped on me so far.  She&#8217;ll probably live &#8212; but that&#8217;s not the point.  Anything to do with the ticker malfunctioning is pretty scary.</p>
<p>(The latest news can be found on my <a href="http://www.twitter.com/katster">Twitter</a> and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/retstak">Facebook</a>, and I&#8217;ll write a substantial blog post when things calm down, hopefully towards the end of the week.)</p>
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		<title>beginning yet again</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2010/01/06/beginning-yet-again/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2010/01/06/beginning-yet-again/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:04:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/?p=691</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[New beginning, by cuellar on flickr
My psychiatrist chewed me out today.  I can&#8217;t say I didn&#8217;t deserve it.  In fact, in all honesty, I needed to be spoken to bluntly about the subject.
You see, last&#8230;oh, god, June, was it?  When California was having really awful budget problems (err, well, I guess that&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/cuellar/3167134997/" title="New beginning by cuellar, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1186/3167134997_d26639591a.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="beginnings" /></a><br /><cite><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/cuellar/3167134997/">New beginning</a>, by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/cuellar/">cuellar</a> on <a href="http://www.flickr.com/">flickr</a></p>
<p>My psychiatrist chewed me out today.  I can&#8217;t say I didn&#8217;t deserve it.  In fact, in all honesty, I needed to be spoken to bluntly about the subject.</p>
<p>You see, last&#8230;oh, god, June, was it?  When California was having really awful budget problems (err, well, I guess that&#8217;s still now, never mind &#8212; anyway, last summer), one of the consequences of the lack of state money is that I got kicked off the county mental health program.  My psych gave me the number for the place he was moving to, and I made an effort to call, but of course, the callback went to the answering machine and I never got around to returning the tag.  I had a couple refills in the system, so it wasn&#8217;t really any big deal &#8212; so I just forgot about making a new appointment.</p>
<p>&#8230;which leads to December and coming off the meds in a rather messy fashion.  And yeah, this is a big no-no.  Add in that I&#8217;m fairly certain the thyroid is out of whack again because I&#8217;ve been avoiding my primary care doc &#8212; I hate doctors that don&#8217;t listen to me &#8212; and yeah, it&#8217;s probably no frakking wonder *why* I crashed hard in December.</p>
<p>I&#8217;d went with the thought that I&#8217;d make no resolutions this year, but that&#8217;s kinda morphed around a bit.  I think I do need to make some.  I&#8217;m going to keep them low key and somewhat nebulous, because I&#8217;m fragile enough that not making them is going to hurt.  So I&#8217;ve got two semi-nebulous ones out there:</p>
<ol>
<li>Either have or be in a position to obtain full time work by December 31, 2010</li>
<li>Have done enough work to warrant enough nominations to end up on the long list of folks nominated for a Hugo for best fanwriter in 2011.</li>
</ol>
<p>The first is relatively intuitive; the second is just a way of stating &#8220;do more fanac in 2010&#8243;.  I mean, technically, if folks want to include me on their nominations list, that&#8217;s awesome, but I want to sorta feel, in my own mind, that I&#8217;ve done something I can point to and say that I&#8217;ve earned it.</p>
<p>But the doc&#8217;s kinda put a 1A that pops up to the top of the list &#8212; figure out where this tendency towards self-sabotage is coming from and begin the hard work to thwart it.  I mean, I hear you all saying that I&#8217;m smart and I&#8217;m talented and all of that, and &#8230; yeah.  I wanna believe you; I&#8217;m not entirely sure I can.  Which plays into this, I think.</p>
<p>So, I had four monthly goals to achieve, and have done one.  A second is coming up because performance reviews are on the table at work&#8230;which just makes my stomach even more flippyfloppy.</p>
<ol>
<li>Visit doctor</li>
<li>Write resume</li>
<li>Begin learning C##</li>
<li>Pub ish by 1 Feb</li>
</ol>
<p>Anyway.  I&#8217;m going to need my friends.  I&#8217;m going to need them more than ever.  Will you help me?</p>
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		<title>2009</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2009/12/31/2009/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2009/12/31/2009/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Jan 2010 07:55:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/?p=687</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[New Year&#8217;s Eve Fireworks by mastermaq
I wanted to write a bit more about looking back and looking forward, but I&#8217;m probably going to have to push things back a couple days into the weekend.  The house is full of Jill&#8217;s brownies, with all the ruckus and noise implied by nine second and third grade [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mastermaq/4233102798/" ><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4059/4233102798_1c6e3e7d99_d.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Sleepytime" /></a><br /><cite>New Year&#8217;s Eve Fireworks by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mastermaq/">mastermaq</a></cite></p>
<p>I wanted to write a bit more about looking back and looking forward, but I&#8217;m probably going to have to push things back a couple days into the weekend.  The house is full of Jill&#8217;s brownies, with all the ruckus and noise implied by nine second and third grade girls who are somewhat hopped up on sugar and excitement.  In other words, it&#8217;s not exactly conductive to reflective thought.</p>
<p>Anyway, this here is just to say I&#8217;m alive on the precipice, but where I&#8217;m going from here is anybody&#8217;s guess.</p>
<p>So I suppose the thing I could most use on this precipice is the acknowledgment that my friends are out there and that they&#8217;ve got my back.</p>
<p>Happy new year everybody.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>a light in the darkness</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2009/12/25/a-light-in-the-darkness/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2009/12/25/a-light-in-the-darkness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Dec 2009 20:23:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[pictures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ponderables]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[candles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holiday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[light]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ponder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/?p=680</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Candles at church, by me
I&#8217;ve been doing a lot of wheelspinning lately as I try to figure out something.  I haven&#8217;t figured out much in the way of conclusions because I haven&#8217;t had the time to pursue threads all the way out, but there is one thing that comes to mind.
Ignore all that &#8216;must [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/katster/4212064147/" class="tt-flickr tt-flickr-Medium" title="Candles"><img class="alignnone" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4044/4212064147_3f66c72a87.jpg" alt="Candles" width="500" height="375" /></a><br />
<cite>Candles at church, by me</cite></p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been doing a lot of wheelspinning lately as I try to figure out something.  I haven&#8217;t figured out much in the way of conclusions because I haven&#8217;t had the time to pursue threads all the way out, but there is one thing that comes to mind.</p>
<p>Ignore all that &#8216;must co-opt pagan holiday&#8217; stuff that caused the birth of Jesus to be moved to the bleak midwinter as opposed to the more logical late spring that all the trappings of the story hint at, and look at it from a different perspective.  As a storyteller, there is no better time of the year.  The world is at its darkest in the days around the solstice, so much so that we light our homes with blazing electric lights to chase the darkness away.  And metaphorically, isn&#8217;t that what the Christchild story is?  Bringing light to a dark world?  </p>
<p>The story demands the change.</p>
<p>Anyway, that&#8217;s one of the threads I&#8217;m still trying to follow to its conclusion; I may or may not continue to blog about it.</p>
<p>But for those who celebrate it, Merry Christmas!  And if you don&#8217;t, may you have a good day today as well.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>egoboo request.</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2009/12/21/egoboo-request/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2009/12/21/egoboo-request/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 22:13:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/2009/12/21/egoboo-request/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As jennkitty said, I could really use the egoboo right about now.  It&#8217;s an anonymous thread, so I won&#8217;t know who you are, but I could use just a little light this holiday.
Linky here.
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>As <a href="http://users.livejournal.com/jennkitty/profile"><img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" alt="[info]" width="17" height="17" border="0" align="absmiddle"/></a><a href="http://users.livejournal.com/jennkitty/"><b>jennkitty</b></a> said, I could really use the egoboo right about now.  It&#8217;s an anonymous thread, so I won&#8217;t know who you are, but I could use just a little light this holiday.</p>
<p><a href="http://allthingsgood.livejournal.com/317770.html?thread=13061450#t13061450">Linky here</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Advertising Fail</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2009/12/07/advertising-fail/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2009/12/07/advertising-fail/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:51:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/?p=670</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
I&#8217;ll leave the commentary to the peanut gallery.
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/katster/4159802996/" class="tt-flickr tt-flickr-Medium" title="Ad copy fail"><img class="alignnone" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2596/4159802996_0b24e28ee3.jpg" alt="Ad copy fail" width="500" height="375" /></a> </p>
<p>I&#8217;ll leave the commentary to the peanut gallery.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>congratulations, you are now ded of ky00te.</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2009/12/07/congratulations-you-are-now-ded-of-ky00te/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2009/12/07/congratulations-you-are-now-ded-of-ky00te/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:50:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/?p=666</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
Ebony has the right idea of what to do on this cold morning.  Wish I could have crawled under the covers and went back to sleep myself. 
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/katster/4166702196/" class="tt-flickr tt-flickr-Medium" title="Sleepytime"><img class="alignnone" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2596/4166702196_82210e07dc.jpg" alt="Sleepytime" width="500" height="375" /></a> </p>
<p>Ebony has the right idea of what to do on this cold morning.  Wish I could have crawled under the covers and went back to sleep myself. </p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Rhyme &amp; Paradox</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2009/12/02/rhyme-paradox/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2009/12/02/rhyme-paradox/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Dec 2009 20:22:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[fandom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fanzines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rhyme and paradox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[science fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/?p=662</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Yeah, that&#8217;s going to be the title of the fanzine I&#8217;m putting out.  And I&#8217;m looking for contributions.  I have the first year pretty much planned out as to topics. (I&#8217;m going to go approximately quarterly, so that means four topics.)
The first topic is &#8216;Beginnings&#8217;; I&#8217;ll need things by New Year&#8217;s for assembly [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Yeah, that&#8217;s going to be the title of the fanzine I&#8217;m putting out.  And I&#8217;m looking for contributions.  I have the first year pretty much planned out as to topics. (I&#8217;m going to go approximately quarterly, so that means four topics.)</p>
<p>The first topic is &#8216;Beginnings&#8217;; I&#8217;ll need things by New Year&#8217;s for assembly and layout in early January.  I&#8217;ll take anything folks want to throw at me, but my most pressing need would be a cover.  I&#8217;ll probably end up having to whip something up using photographs since I don&#8217;t know how to ask for help (read: too nervous to ask), but I wanted to lay that out there as a thought.</p>
<p>The second right now seems to want to be called &#8216;Dreaming of Rockets&#8217;; my thought on that is Hugos, not the space race.  I&#8217;m sure it&#8217;ll come up soon.  That, I&#8217;m going to say, let&#8217;s shoot for a deadline of the Ides of March.  This is a little more fluid, talk to me in January about it.  I just wanted to throw the idea out there.</p>
<p>My email is katster AT retstak DOT org, or you can poke me via all the usual places (including the comments of this blog entry.)</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Bookshelf Cat</title>
		<link>http://retstak.org/2009/12/01/bookshelf-cat/</link>
		<comments>http://retstak.org/2009/12/01/bookshelf-cat/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:10:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>katster</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retstak.org/?p=659</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Bookshelf cat laughs at your puny attempts to understand.
(Now it&#8217;s your turn.  You caption the shot.)
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/katster/4151451910/" title="Bookshelf cat by retstak, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2801/4151451910_31f4384fed.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Bookshelf cat" /></a></p>
<p>Bookshelf cat laughs at your puny attempts to understand.</p>
<p>(Now it&#8217;s your turn.  You caption the shot.)</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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