Tag: funny

Bacon Soda!

Bacon Soda!

I promised bacon soda and I will deliver!

So I wandered into BevMo the other night because I know they have an amazing selection of root beers and sarsaparillas, and they’re also about the only place in town that sell birch beer, which I adore. (I want to try spruce beer, but I’m told that’s an East Coast thing and basically impossible to find in California.)

But besides the various root beers and sarsaparillas and birch beers and ginger beers, they have other kinds of soda. And some of them get very weird. Case in point: the featured image for this post. Yes. Bacon Soda. They also had peanut butter and jelly soda, but if I was going to get something I enjoyed (birch beer!), I had to choose between novelties.

So with much trepidation, I took it home. And now it has become yours. So let us take a look at this bottle of bacon soda. It’s made by a company called “Lester’s Fixins”, with a good fifties-era man, somewhat like Colonel Sanders — the original, not the weird thing that’s on TV now.

And look at that. It has bacon on the cover. Also, the slogan “Y’all get yer fixins!”

Let’s see. What’s the ingredients list? Do I get real bacon?

“Spring water, cane sugar, citric acid, caramel color, natural flavors, beet juice.”

Huh, that’s not looking promising. No bacon, and beet juice? Wow…

Maybe if we take a look at the nutritional facts:

Not nutritious, just like bacon.
Not nutritious, just like bacon.

Not nutritious in a different way than bacon, though. No cholesterol or fat, and lots of sugar. But hey, let’s have an advertising shot.

Dubious kat is dubious
Dubious kat is dubious

Yeah, that’s probably not going to be a good advertising campaign, but whatever. The important part. How’s it taste?

Chug a lug!
Chug a lug!
What in all God's creation was that?!?
What in all God’s creation was that?!?

Yeah. The verdict. I’ve had worse things, but those are generally trying to be gross. (Any flavor jelly beans, y’all?) This was nothing more that a sickeningly sweet cola with a very strange aftertaste that does not resemble bacon in any way, shape or form. In some ways, I’m disappointed I saved the bottle to drink for so long, but hey, I got an amusing blog post out of it.

oops.

oops.

I caught this beauty on the The Science of Japan’s Nuclear Crisis on NPR’s website. The page looks solid, but in the upper right, I had to read twice to make sure I was reading correctly.

Yes, not only is Japan suffering from the aftereffects of a 9.0 earthquake, a tsunami, and a nuclear crisis, they seem to have ended up in somebody only identified as Chris.

(Okay, I know it’s a typo, but I still thought it was funny.)

Funny sticker

Funny sticker

image

Eating my morning snack of a banana, and this sticker made me laugh

C is for Cookie

C is for Cookie

This made me fall over laughing. Sesame Street was good times as a kid and I loved Cookie the best. So I’m all for him getting the hosting gig on SNL.

Been meaning to share

Been meaning to share

image

This is an abandoned car in the parking garage I park in.

Rocking the shades…

Rocking the shades…

image

So it was the shindig for my grandparents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary tonight.  Before we all went over to the restaurant, we hung out in the hotel. My uncle found the shades in the pocket in the back of Mom’s wheelchair and soon enough, my cousin Steph was rocking them.  In the pic is Jill, Steph, and Steph’s boyfriend Mike.

Happy anniversary, Nanny and Papa!

pew pew pew

pew pew pew

Found this on the ground this morning as I was walking into work. It was part of a larger chalk drawing. It made me laugh.

There’s more to say, but I’m gathering thoughts right now. Maybe later.

[This entry is also serving to test the new crossposter. If this works, this entry should show up on my LJ and my Dreamwidth Journal…]

funny but sad

funny but sad

While stumbling around geocaching yesterday, I found this in the park I was searching:

I open the floor to y’all.

Two things

Two things

  1. It was a beautiful morning in Sacramento this morning. It hasn’t started raining yet, but over the last hour, the clouds have rolled in, so it’s coming
  2. I heart fortune:
    Your fortune for the day
    Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb inthe Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim that he's a doctor, not an electrician). Scotty, after checking around, realizes that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he "canna" see in the dark. Kirk will make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand, Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must warp out of orbit. Although badly outgunned, he cripples the Klingon and races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk et. al. who have just saved the natives' from an awful fate and, as a reward, been given all light bulbs they can carry. The new bulb is then inserted and the Enterprise continues on its five year mission.

My amusement for today.

My amusement for today.

Yonder about three months ago, I got business cards from work. They gave my title as ‘Business Analyst’.

Today, we got an org chart. On this one I’m listed as a ‘Software Engineer.’

Yeah, I’m not even sure my company knows what I do. So I have decided that today, I am a ‘Business Software Analyst Engineer’. A co-worker points out that if I get my project management certification, then I could be a Business Software Analyst Engineer Manager.

Okay, I confess, I’m easily amused.

In other news, I’m going to start learning C#. If I’m going to be a software engineer, then I’d better start acting like it. ;) (And yeah, I’m going to fiddle some with Java too, but the company uses more C#, so it’s a better place for me to invest some time.)

More later.

Advice I already knew…

Advice I already knew…

So I have fortune set to run when I log into my shell account. Here’s the one that came up as I was logging in today:

Your fortune for the day:
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.

Already learned my lesson on that one, guv. (Hint: Do not wish for the hurricane that shares a name with you to be ‘big enough to retire the name.’ You will get your wish, but your name will also become an adjective.)

do not stick in ear

do not stick in ear

So I’m at work, and I’m reading up on how to write a functional specification, which seems to be my next task. Now, I’ve never written one of these before, so the Google is my friend.

I stumbled across Joe Spolsky’s blog in my search for how to write one of these, and in reading the sample functional spec he provides, I found:

(Your results may vary. We are not responsible for delays in transmission or on your computer which could cause the actual time to be a bit later than the time displayed. This service is provided as-is and is merely for entertainment purposes, not for accurate time-keeping. Do not stick WhatTimeIsIt.com in your ear or use it to clean your ear.)

I spent several minutes in my cube just giggling madly at the thought of using a web interface to clean your ear. Of course, this is work, and there’s nobody to share with, so I am sharing with the Internets.

EDIT: Later, in the same document:

The exact wording of this email is still being debated hotly by the board of directors and will be provided sometime before shipping. [ Developers: for now I suggest using a nasty word. That will light a fire under Chucks’ seat. ]

So funny, and yet, so true.

The day I was a superhero

The day I was a superhero

Yesterday, on my walk between the parking garage and work, I found the following juxtaposition of signage:

The chalked message up close, so you can read it:
What the chalked message said...Photo by retstak

It was one of those moments where I just had to pause for a moment and laugh (and of course, take a picture). Somebody has a sense of humor in this town, and it’s those sort of wonderful serendipitous moments that I love very dearly. So yesterday, I walked past the message, head held high, as I obviously was a superhero. Only superheroes may pass. The sign said so. Thus, by passing it, I must have been a superhero, no?

I wasn’t a superhero today. We had a spectacular light show and plenty of rain last night, and the chalk was washed away. Mundanity returns. So sad.

It’s ribbon time again!

It’s ribbon time again!

Sorry I’ve not been around to update the blog. Life just has eaten me alive, and it’s been easier to keep the twitter feed up to date. At some point, I’ll sit down and try to catch y’all up, but this post is because Baycon is next weekend, so I went and picked up my ribbon order today.

This is the collection of this year’s ribbons:

  1. Yes, that’s my feet.
  2. A couple of these are special: the green one is for gophers, the one that reads “Ascended Master” is for those who catch me in the right place.
  3. The Gopher Local #42 is a joke from last year’s hoax newsletter about the gophers (convention volunteers) going on strike. So I figured, the gophers need a union. And of course, it’s science fiction, so the Local # had to be 42.
  4. My streak of bad Baycon/bacon puns continues.
  5. I can’t *wait* to see the reactions to “this ribbon intentionally left blank”
  6. White and silver are hard to tell apart. (For the record, Gopher and winning move are printed with white, left blank in silver
  7. Is it Baycon yet?

As I said, if you’re at Baycon and you want one of these ribbons, just hunt me down and I’ll give it to you. In fact, just like last year, I’ll be indiscrimately handing out the katster ones.

dangerously cute

dangerously cute

The nice people at the county remind us that it’s time to get Stormycat her rabies shot and license again. They sent us a postcard. It contained the following vitals:

Name: Stormy
Sex: F
Color: Calico
Breed: Pitbull

I guess that’s dangerously cute for you.

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